Maybe Good Things are Hard Things

 

Once upon a time I wrote a blog; birthed from passion, pen to paper, thoughts spilling out one by one as I put voice to this conglomeration of feelings when it comes to faith & politics. And then… 

 

15,000 views later, here I am wondering what else I should say. Should I defend and sink my teeth in, arguing my worldview above all else, or should I go back to my ‘typical’ style of blog where I let the fingers put breath to all the thoughts trapped inside my head regardless their subject matter or aesthetic? It’s a delicate balance, and one that I frankly am not interested in navigating. If there was ever a blog that I intended to receive the viewership of thousands, I assure you, a blog on politics was not it. The ramification of the polarization & loss of respect that I would receive from some was not all-together surprising given the state of the world, though I was quite shocked to see how unifying my perspective was to so many who felt the same things but were frightened to speak it out loud. Writing has a funny way of empowering us to be the exact person we actually are… for better and for worse.

 

So here we are, and here I am, in a Panera… unsure of exactly what to say but knowing my thoughts are cluttered with things that seem ‘mountain moving’ to me but juxtaposed with the impending implosion of the world around me. If this season has taught me anything, it is that that which feels easy is rarely true, and that which seems simple is always more complicated than we gave it credit for. I have been training for a half-marathon these last few months, not because I love running, and not because I want a bumper sticker (if anyone knows my husband, they know his deep distain for all things ‘sticker’ related.)  I started running for the same reason I started working out several years ago… 

 

I have a predisposition to a lack of discipline and self-control. 

 

I DO NOT LIKE to do things that do not provide IMMEDIATE results, and I HATE feeling self-conscious… therefore, I avoid doing anything that I am not by nature good at. (If I’m keeping it 100%... It’s actually anything I’m not GREAT at) That list includes things like: Running, Gyming, Sportsing, mathing, organizing, and a lot of other ‘ings’ that are not SINGING or MUSIC-ING, or Writing. A few years ago, I decided to focus on disciplining myself to invest in things that would not bring immediate results, to focus on doing hard things, to set goals that were for myself alone, unaccompanied by accolades. Little did I know, the process of learning self control and discipline would wake me up to a host of shortcomings, little did I know how spiritual the art of running is. 

 

Sometimes it is good to do things that go against your ‘natural’ instincts. To push your body more than you think it’s capable of. GOOD things are often HARD things. Things that are worthwhile don’t happen in a microwave; they take time, dedication, practice, and a lot of exposure to your own insecurities. I’ll be running a half-marathon this weekend… by myself. No trophies, no parties, no pre-race gaming…. Just me, a playlist, and a self-reminder that rarely do good things feel good at first. 

 

I think part of becoming adult is learning that it’s normal to not feel happy all the time. It is normal to occasionally feel like something might be missing, to have good days followed by bad days, and perhaps one of the most freeing adult discoveries I have found is that it’s actually okay to be disappointed. Disappointed doesn’t have to mean failure, in fact, it is often just a catalyst for growth in disguise (if you allow yourself the space to grieve, to grow, to listen, and to learn). 

 

So, readers…Cheers. 

 

Cheers to continuing to discipline ourselves while giving ourselves grace for the inevitable disappointment that comes from not ‘measuring’ up to whatever outlandish standard we are measuring by. Cheers to the days that don’t feel as hard as the bad days. Cheers to the times the heaviness is lifted. Cheers to the runner’s high that both makes you feel alive and feel like you could die of a heart attack at any second (such a thrill). 

 

Cheers to doing hard things. 

 

Hard things are good things, and they are worth fighting for. Relentlessly, tirelessly, passionately. 

 

-Rachel